7th June 2021
Something to say about Beer Monster
It is rumoured that this song is about our friend Stuart Tillet. That is in some part true – but mainly it has become this way because in this song He can be heard 1) laughing 2) negotiating (the rules of a drinking game made up round my house at the age of 19 called Ajudapendent Indicator) 3) reading Under The Influence a Greek Tragedy by Sophocles (alongside his Drinking On Free Period Buddy, Anthony Truckel) and 4) be seen in the CD booklet – accompanying the words to this song in an early form of Selfie (using a disposable camera from Boots Pharmacy) of him and I drinking from two bottles of Beer in a small blue tent – on the Island of Crete, during our Year 12 Classical Studies field trip. In general actuality – the song is about the wonders of drinking – back when it is still relatively new, and giddyness is a certain feature still honoured for its beautiful and creative effect on adolescence.
In even less general parlance – it is simply a daft song written by Kyle Abram and myself for our album we made as The Gorden Bennet Project – which we called Old Hat.
To revisit the vein of specificness: although Stuart Tillet personified Beer Monster in its basic form – simply as a good friend who drank (not excessively – but enough to make him rambunctious good company – what I would call A Good Drinking Companion); the actual idea refers to a fellow who used to hang around with us at about the age of 14. He was in The Year Above – which is a term weighted with connotations. Everybody knows The Year Above – and looking back at school years now it really does seem very exciting to have an omnipresent Year Above. You never knew if someone in The Year Above might be nice to you. You never knew if (well actually, yes you did – it was pretty much The Norm) if someone in The Year Above was going to treat you like you were an imbecile – because you were in The Year Below.
The Year Above had girls that were otherwordly – and beyond your mode of comprehension. They existed in a separate plane - and you were entirely unnoticed (or, so it seemed at the time). The boys were Hard (or So It Seemed At The Time – or; so it was that They were the ones who were prominently noticed); and you were perceived to be Soft. Well – I am talking about me here. I have noticed I talk, write, sing – with a constant carousel of interplaying you and I. I don't know why I do this – and I don't know if it is a problem. I don't know if it is bad form – of if I learnt it from reading certain writers. I DON'T KNOW. I am going to carry on in this way without now thinking too much about it, if that’s okay.
What I mean here is ME. I – sort of thought of myself as Soft, a Softie. But actually I think this is because someone in my family, or the parents of one of my friends, would have once said “he's a Big Softie”. Then it would have stuck. I was a Softie. This – despite the fact that I wouldn't take any shit from people.
Actually – I would always take shit from people. Seemingly – everyone. I just wouldn't fight back. It would sort of absorb itself into me – and a sort of Softie response would occur. I'm not sure I would ever back away from people being unkind – but I would not be overly confrontational. I was quite amazed that I never got decked (this means – beaten up in a fight) through my entire school life. Hard People in the year above would kind of end up ignoring me. This would happen first with the Hard People in my year. I definitely had a few running instances of Very Hard people trying to bully me – and actually – continually try to make my life a misery – particularly in the first year of High School. In fact – when I think about it – I probably had Softie run-ins with pretty much everyone. So it goes – people become your friend, your temporary enemy, or remain un-visible. The temporary enemies pretty much always, over time, became acquaintances, or un-visible. Through High School particularly I noticed this and found it interesting. Everything just kept changing.
This lad from the Year Above – was kind of Hard. But really he was very soft. And the thing was was that when he used to drink beer – at a certain point – his personality would flip. I first saw this at one of our early teenage parties – which he would naturally be invited to by acquaintance. I had seen him a few times at social events – but never Under The Influence. I had softened without worry around this lad in the knowledge that he too was soft, and actually very amenable. He was in The Year Above – but he was just like Our Year.
Or so it seemed.
On this particular occasion I became acquainted with Beer Monster. Whist Our Year were entering into the bubble that can only exist in a Year 10 party containing alcohol; this sort of Through The Looking Glass aura which puts the house and the garden and the surrounding lanes into a timeless slightly wonky focal point of our entire universes; – Beer Monster would be standing up – at a wall near the edge of a room- or corridor – almost motionless – and silent. Now – if only, IF ONLY, Beer Monster had had a CCTV camera - in the tiny red dot located in his iris – (which he told me had been received due to someone stamping on his head with a rugby boot during a scrum) - and we could now see just what he could see. Year 10 teenagers would be passing him too and frow. Boys chasing girls, girls chasing boys. A teenage party in a house is a giddy bubble of floaty activity. It really is quite something when you compare it to adult gatherings. I noticed a certain point (to my dismay) – round about my late twenties – when it was no longer parties, but gatherings. Dinners. At parties – all the action occurs in the corridors. At gatherings – all the action occurs around one table.
Some people would use the corridors more often than others. I was definitely one of those people. If Beer Monster's Red Eye Dot CCTV Camera had been on – and he was standing in the corridor – you would probably see a person walk past him, sometimes followed by a boy or a girl, and then 5 minutes or 10 minutes or 15 minutes later you would see that person walk back past him again – accompanied by boys or girls - or, alone, looking for the company of boys or girls. What would they have been doing in that meantime? Who were they talking to in the kitchen? What character had they run in to, to get involved with some daft scheme? What item of The Adult World from The Adult's House had they commandeered to pull into their chaos; to use as a peacock feather in their tale/tail? Where had the boy or girl gone to whom they had been following – ditching them for a new one, conversations unfinished? Situations and interactions melding into each other...and if Beer Monster had been observing – he would have probably noticed a pattern occurring. Like watching pigeons on the roadside....if you spend enough time just watching them – there seems to be a vague pattern. Very vague. There is always One – Big Beak - kind of dominating. He walks around in sort of circles. Other ones move in and out and around of his circle – wizzing off and making their own little circles. Then they move into other circles – and then they come back near Big Beak again.
Well – Beer Monster saw it all – but probably wasn't taking any of it in. He was just STARING. Sometimes he would breath deeply in – and his shoulders would sort of raise up a little bit. Some people would come near him and say some things and then they would move on – and some people would be too busy chasing each other around from one room to the other to even notice. I had not yet noticed this trait in Beer Monster - rather, my attention was drawn to this after my initial meeting with him, as Beer Monster. I didn't know he was Beer Monster until the ensuing conversation – after which I noticed it happening - and learnt it was a little bit silly trying to break him.
NOW - to return to my first encounter with the now no longer Soft guy …....
I would have been on one of my rounds (of the house, corridors, gardens, kitchens, lanes – to pick someone off from the pigeon circles, to temporarily join mine). I stopped near him and said in the same way I would say to anyone, or anything – some kind of cheerful benign opening gambit. The first thing that came to my head – and, something that works well in party environments when it is okay to just go in and interrupt anybody with anything because you are also a pigeon and its kind of all fair game. It could have been A Pointless Anything Plucked From The Mainly Nothing All That Actually Happening Moment; like, “why do you think Stella Artois cans have got a ridgy bit round the logo which you can feel in your hand? Your Henieken isn't like that, is it?”. Beer Monster, eyes not moving from his tractor beam fixation – somewhere on the other side of the room – or on the far wall through the open door to a room where people were in, giddying around – replied
“Don't talk to me SCOTT – I'm angry”.
Now – at this initial meeting, I would have tried either “what are you angry about?” - and received “don't ask Scott – you DON'T WANT TO KNOW” (deep breath in, shoulders raise, deep breath out). Scott would try again to lighten the moment – but to no avail. In fact, I vaguely remember Beer Monster using my name again in one of his replies. At consequent parties the same kind of exchange, almost to a tee – would occur. The standing area of Beer Monster and the stupid opening gambit of Scott would have varied – but everything else would have been pretty much the same. Then – at a certain point during the round of teenage parties – I just walked past Beer Monster. I distinctly remember thinking this is silly. In discussion with knowledgeable characters in my year group – I was told that '[Beer Monster] just flips after a certain number of beers. He is really nice and then he just gets really angry – its like he's a different person'. This was a fact – but I didn't really agree with it. My initial attempts to break Beer Monster proved to me that his reactions weren't natural. Even though I varied my opening gambit – he would not vary his reactions. It would simply be the breath in and out thing – and the don't talk to me I'm angry thing. Somewhere in my teenage brain I thought that, seeing as his behaviour is predictable – it can't be some real thing he is going through. He had just got the hang of the behaviour – and then kind of repeated it. I really liked [Beer Monster] when he was Soft Guy From The Year Above – but once he was Beer Monster – I thought he was silly.
At a certain point I decided simply to leave Beer Monster alone.
Now – just to say – that although the Iris CCTV camera hadn't been invented yet – there was, a £280 Video Camera from Argos – which was owned, three way, between Kyle Abram, Mark Richards, and myself. We paid thirds on it – and this camcorder did make its way into some of those teenage parties. It will make for horrendous viewing – but I would like to one day pick out some choice moments. There is really no way that I can do this without violating people's human rights – but, the only thing that I can say in my defence is, that I will always come off the worse. I am either playing up to the camera, or playing up to the situation in the room. This can also be seen in the myriad of sketches, short films, or longer documents within videos made on this Video Camera. For some reason – I decided we should have a camera to film our teenage years – and – so – there are hours and hours of footage. What am I ever to do with it? I saw everything that was happening in my teenage years as something creative – as unique in time, in our lives. Having a video camera and watching it back and editing it - and compiling them onto 3 VHS 180 minute tapes – recorded on 'long play' – so that they formed a kind of 'very long running movie' at 6 hours each....and named them Loving It; Loving It II - The Sequel, and Loving It Three - sort of naturally gave me that outlook. I was reviewing everyday occurrences and re-presenting them as some kind of art. I never thought of the term art – they were just my Videos. But – actually – they are a form of art. I just never thought the term applied to me.
So – I just played around with video – and valued it's outcome. It was a window onto our teenage world at that time. Beer Monster – the song – is another such window. Kyle Abram and I were 20 years old at this point. The album which it is from, Old Hat, is fun. On this song, Kyle played all the music – and I produced and arranged the vocals and other atmosphere stuff. All sorts of sound can be heard – a lot of it taken from the pre-mentioned videos. There are many overlaying storylines and themes. I'd quite like one time to pick out all of the individual dialogue parts and show them in context. For the 3rdmovement in the Beer Monster Mixcloud Trilogy, I did this with the vocals. I visited Stuart Tillet, the aforementioned rumoured Beer Monster (who says at the end 'I drink quite a lot, drink quite a lot, drink quite a lot........' ) - and asked him to read aloud the lyrics to the song. We did this sat next to his fire in his garden. Stuart Tillet and I were marginally taken with the profundity of the lyrics. I had to explain a certain thing to him – that 'You're much more like The One Eyed Willy (Goonies found the rich stuff, Chump was the Goodie)- harmless unless you're put to the test' – was multilayered. One Eyed Willy is the skeleton who is found at the end of the film The Goonies - by the young teenagers – and he is guarding his treasure – which they eventually find after the toil of their journey in the film. Only Mikey has the confidence to face dead One Eyed Willy – who presides over his treasure -and he realizes he has to be respectful to him – and not just take his treasure. Once Mikey has realized this – One Eyed Willy gives him what his heart desires – without saying anything. Mikey did this deal with the scary looking skeleton with the eye patch on – and - One Eyed Willy is harmless. However – once the Fratelis (the bad guys) – come crashing in – who also want a part of the treasure – One Eyed Willy is put to the test. Everything starts falling down – the caves – the walls – and they all have to escape with their lives – and only a very tiny bit of the treasure. One Eyed Willy is genuinely badass – but it depends on who was viewing him as to how he could be perceived.
Beer Monster from the parties was kind of harmless – so there was no need for him to be silly. But he wasn't able to adapt his behaviour to the circumstance.
One Eyed Willys are also other things – and the same criteria can by put to them.
Beer Monsters – well – that was all of us – to some degree. Degrees of harmlessness in relation to reactions when put to the test can be applied too.
Despite all of this – it is mainly a daft little song which Kyle Abram and I made for our album called Old Hat.
Notes on this months bundle.
Song One – Beer Monster (written in the summer of 2002 - recorded winter 2003)
Song Two – Beer Monster – Old Hat 2 Version (2004)
The remixed Version is from 2004. For Kyle Abram's birthday – I made him a 90 minute cassette tape and called it Old Hat 2. I remixed a bunch of songs from the album – in a Very Primative way. Some are so empty and odd – but put the focus on the sheer amount of absurdities which go on in the songs – in other words, all the stuff I put in the background – and which was the main critique of the album - that “there is too much stuff going on” My argument – was that this was the main point. My mum, Jenny Bryant, asked me - once the album was finished - “ yes, but who is going to want to listen to what is mainly just you and Kyle having fun? That question has sat with me, unaswered, ever since.
Song Three – 3) The Assumed Beer Monster Reads The Lyrics - by Stuart Tillet , featuring Alfie Matthews (in a pub) for a brief sentence, with background fishing by SLB, in his garden, in May - 2021
